There are several automatic inventions that have been proven useful. Let's take the clapper, for instance. Are you too old to find the light switch? Or maybe you have a hard time seeing in the dark and need to get up to use the restroom. Then have no fear! The Clapper is here! Just clap your hands and the lights come on! (Or off!) Or what about automatic sliding doors at places like Target or Walmart? No need to push open heavy doors or struggling to find the door handle when your hands/arms are full with bags. Just walk near the doors and VOILA! Open sesame!
But there's one invention man has created (literally, a man -Martin J. Laverty, Jr.) that makes me cringe and dread more than anything. It's the stupid automatic toilet. I know I've mentioned this in the past, but I can't emphasize just how much I hate automatic toilets.
First of all, this retarded device obviously wasn't created with women in mind. And of course not! It was created by a man! Who pees standing up! (And who also doesn't remember to put the toilet seat down.) I'm sorry, but us women weren't designed to physically pee standing up with the success rate of you men. (And by success rate, please don't assume that your aim rate is that much better than if we were to attempt the same. You guys miss half the time, anyway.)
Second issue. Gross. Nasty. Germs. A lot of you may think that by not touching the flush handle, you're saving yourself from having to touch nasty public bathroom germs. Did you ever think about what happens when the toilet flushes? Water spews! And sometimes out of the bowl! Gross! Now imagine a woman having to sit on that toilet. Nasty, right? Now imagine that toilet automatically going off while she's still sitting on it. I KNOW! UNBELIEVABLE! Seriously, I will friggin' flush when I'm ready to flush!
Speaking of repeated and unnecessary flushes, could you imagine how much water that automatic toilet is wasting? Generally, modern toilets are required to be low flow, which is 1.6 gallons per flush. Older toilets were 3 gallons per flush. Now imagine the toilets automatically flushing when it's not needed. Such a waste!
Now, I know this won't ban automatic toilets and people aren't going to protest against them. If you gotta go, you gotta go. But I suggest a better idea. How about we drag and hang the man who invented it? ;]
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